Parenting Under Pressure: The Surgeon General's Call to Prioritize Your Well-Being

There’s an old wisdom teaching about an acrobat and his apprentice preparing to perform on a bamboo pole in a town square. The acrobat says to his apprentice, “I’ll climb the pole first, and you follow me. Once we’re both up there, you look after my balance, and I’ll look after yours.” At first, this seems like a reasonable request, but the apprentice responds, “That won’t work. You need to take care of your own balance, and I need to take care of mine, or we’ll both fall.” As cheeky as she might sound, the apprentice is making an important point: you can only take care of others if you first take care of yourself. This teaching reminds us that balance is personal and essential—no one else can find it for us.

This wisdom is particularly relevant today. The U.S. Surgeon General recently issued a public health advisoryacknowledging that the stress many parents feel is overwhelming and widespread. Nearly half of all parents report that their stress levels are “completely overwhelming,” with some saying they feel too stressed to function. The pressures of modern parenting—rising child care costs, longer work hours, concerns about youth mental health, and constant comparison on social media—are taking a serious toll. These stress levels have now reached a point where the Surgeon General has flagged it as an urgent public health issue.

The advisory calls for both cultural and policy changes to better support parents, but it also encourages parents to prioritize their own mental health. Just as the apprentice told the acrobat, you need to take care of your own balance first. By tending to your well-being, you're better equipped to care for others, including your family. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s not only okay but necessary to pause, recalibrate, and set healthy boundaries. Because the effect of taking care of yourself, is that you’re taking care of others, too.